Hey, It’s Okay if You’re Unemployed!
If it's good enough for Miley, it's good enough for me.
It started with YM back in ’92 and has persisted well into adulthood: my unwavering love affair with glossy women’s magazines.
They’ve stuck with me through so much — layovers, bus rides, long waits at the dentist and bored Sunday afternoons.
And my choice of title can vary, depending on my mood.
Sometimes I feel like something quick and dirty (OK, People, Star). Other times, I need something a little more sophisticated (Vogue — but mostly just for the pretty pictures).
Usually, though, it’s the run of the mill women’s glossy that combines celebrity gossip, relationship advice, fashion and beauty so satisfyingly, I can’t remember why I ever read books.
These are the Glamours and Marie Claires of the world. The magazines that make you feel ugly, then beautiful, then ugly again, all within a hundred or so ad-filled pages.
Lately I’ve noticed a very inspirational segment in Glamour called: “Hey, it’s ok!” The magazine reassures its readers that their irrational, vain or lazy behavior is, in fact, completely normal. Phew!
“Hey, it’s okay if I you only want to order the stuff on the menu you can pronounce.” Relief!
“Hey, it’s okay to be totally judge-y about plastic surgery but then whiten your teeth obsessively.” Thanks again, Glamour, I was super worried about that!
“Hey, it’s okay if you’re so00 jealous of your bestie you sometimes fantasize about killing her!” Ummm… are… you… sure about that one?
Anyhow, it got me thinking (as these magazines so often do): It’s not just us gals of a certain socio-economic status between the ages of 18 and 34 who need a bit of reassurance.
What about the men? The children? The elderly?
Most importantly for this blog, what about the unemployed?
I’ve got you covered. I’ve been jobless long enough (and read enough of this stuff) to write a list especially for you:
Hey, it’s ok if…
- …You’re willing to take what you can get at this point, and I don’t just mean job-wise.
- …You send your mom’s friend’s cousin’s wife’s best friend your resume. And then consider your weekly job search complete.
- …You don’t make your bed. Especially if you never really get out of it.
- …You’re tired of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and all the other social networking sites that are supposed to help you get a job.
- …Your mom does your laundry (btw, that’s always okay, no matter your current employment status).
- …You’re jealous of people with jobs. Even people with crappy jobs.
- …You romanticize your former employer – it’s like an old lover. You complained about it incessantly at the time, but now that it’s gone all you can remember is the good stuff, like free toilet paper.
- …You despise your former employer. Who’s a romantic? Not you!
- …You stay friends with people who still work for your former employer (the one you despise). It’s not their fault you lost your job. But you can use their survivor’s guilt to your advantage.
- …You’re enjoying unemployment. Just a little bit.
Although Vogue poses on your newsstand as a magazine which competes for women readers with Glamour, Self and Allure, the same Corporate Men of the Super-Rich Billiionaire Newhouse Dynasty who market Vogue to women also profit from their control and marketing of Glamour, Self and Allure to women. And for many years an elderly man named Alexander Liberman was simultaneously Vogue’s editorial director, Glamour’s editorial director and Self’s editorial director.
Nicknamed “The Silver Fox,” Liberman played a role in the Newhouse Dynasty’s “women-oriented” magazine-marketing operation which was described as follows in an April 8, 1991 Newsweek article:
“…Liberman cuts a larger-than-life figure as he designs a story for Self magazine. Assistants are crowding around him…His fame and power comes from the trendy world of women’s fashion magazines. At 78 [in 1991] , the [then-] editorial director of Conde’ Nast is the cultural czar of one of the world’s largest magazine companies…The position makes him one of the most influential figures in magazine publishing…Some former high-level employees say that disagreeing with Liberman can prove fatal…Liberman’s tastes influence every Conde’ Nast magazine…At 9 a.m. he is in his…office—his command center for decisions about covers and layouts…Most important, Liberman has the ear of Conde’ Nast chairman S.I. Newhouse Jr…who consults him on…personnel changes.”
When Glamour magazine was launched by a Corporate Male publisher named Conde’ Nast in 1939, its stated purpose was to appeal to young working women readers “by revealing how the movie stars achieved their particular appeal” since Hollywood had become important “as a disseminator of fashion, beauty, and charm,” in the words of Glamour’s initial issue. Within two years 250,000 copies of Glamour were being circulated.
By the time the Newhouse corporate media conglomerate purchased the Conde’ Nast magazines, Glamour’s circulation had reached 800,000—almost double what Vogue’s circulation was at that time. The value of Glamour’s ad space sales, however, was about half that of Vogue’s at that time because the cost per ad page in Vogue was greater than the cost per page in Glamour.
By purchasing the Street & Smith Publications’ magazine for $4 million a few months later, Newhouse was able to carry out its lucrative plan of merging the previously competing Charm with Glamour and thus increase Glamour’s profitability, as well as its circulation—which soon exceeded one million copies. By 1981, two million copies of Glamour were being circulated each month and it was earning around $10 million more per year than Vogue, as a result of its larger newsstand sales. Of the $45 million that Glamour earned from its ad space sales in 1981, around 40 percent was for printing ads for cosmetics and toiletries.
Self was launched by Newhouse around the time that Samuel Newhouse I died in 1979. And by the early 1980s, over one million copies of Self were also being circulated. In the 1990s, not satisfied with having control over Vogue, Glamour and Self, the Newhouse Dynasty’s media conglomerate started marketing another magazine for women, Allure.
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…You despise your former employer. Who’s a romantic? Not you!
Funny, I despise my former employer too. I keep hoping the office buildings get ripped apart by a tornado.
I despise the MEA (teacher union for using seniority instead of competence as the sole criteria when determining who gets laid off and who stays to teach your children.
And yet, Cheryl, it’s not the union but your employer (I assume the school district?) that has the power to issue layoffs.
We have to work hard to make unions more accountable to their members, but I shudder to think of what might happen without them.
It should be the unions (as well as us unemployed!) who fight to make sure that people have decent, honorable work, and that we keep people employed rather than pay executives excessive six-figure salaries.
Thanks for the humor. I don’t remember the last time I actually read Glamour. If I pick up a Glamour it is usually just to look at the pictures and the advertisements. So, it is a good thing the inspiration is coming from this unemployment blog and not from Glamour.
Having just started a blog around being ‘outta work’ I got a kick out of your ‘Hey…it’s OK’ list! It’s inspired me to have a bit of fun with the often depressing topic of unemployment! Once I work out how to link to posts I’ll send any readers I get your way.
Hi….
I will be very uncomfortable if m unemployed.
But thanks to http://www.fresherstimes.com. that give me the chance to search the jobs and made my career in my field.
hmm.. lovely post but not a good deal for the unemployed person.
So enjoyed this listing! One thing for sure, it is a lot easier to step off the ferris wheel and get back in line when your 22, 32 or even 39. I will be 44 this week (I hate saying that). I have had two jobs in the past 20 years, I need UI and deserve it. EDD and phone interviews and all the conflicting docs I receive, the ups and downs of it all has become a full time job. Their system is broken and their phone line recording needs to just say so.