Broke-Ass Stuart: How to Lower Your Cable Bill
Broke-ass Stuart
Hi I’m Broke-Ass Stuart. I’ve been writing shit to help broke-asses for five years now and in just the past couple years I’ve had two books come out, Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in San Francisco and New York To get a better idea of what I do, check out brokeassstuart.com. But enough about me, let’s get to saving you money. Here we go:
How to Lower your Cable Bill
The cable companies always sucker you in by giving you some amazing introductory rate, and then hiking it up six months to a year after you join. It’s one of those things that you forget about until one day you look at your bill and say, “What the fuck? Why did this double?” and then you look to make sure your dirtbag roommate didn’t order late night porno channel when he came home wasted. He probably did.
Well, just last week I was appalled at what we were paying for cable so I called the cable company up. I did some research beforehand to see what kind of sweet introductory rates they were offering at the time, and I asked to be switched to one of those. Unfortunately they said no, but then I said, “You know, I’ve been thinking of switching to the Dish Network because they are offering me a better deal, but I’m really happy with the service you’re giving me. Is there any way you can lower my rate?” At that point they switched me to some kind of “Customer Retention Department” and the lady there was able to take almost $40 off my bill! Not too shabby huh? These companies obviously want to keep you (and your money) so they can be more flexible than you think. Plus I think you would get the same result if you have Dish Network and threaten them that you are thinking of moving to cable.
So there you have it. Give it a try and drop a comment to let me know how it goes.
Yeah, I tried that trick with Comcast a while back. I was paying $62/month. The person I talked with said they couldn’t do anything for me. Although Ipressed, the person wouldn’t budge. I asked for a supervisor. I was told the same line.
OK, fine. So I downgraded to basic cable at only $13/month. Now Comcast loses nearly $50/month from me because they chose not to be flexible and frankly, I watch a lot less TV now. I also get a lot more done, including reading I’ve wanted to do.
We used this tactic about a month or so ago- and it worked famously! The competition for the cable companies is huge right now so they will do whatever they can to keep you as a customer.
I’ve never had cable. I buy season series on dvd (Oz), and watch on my Dell laptop.
Since I have DSL (online student), I trashed my analog tv and watch hulu.com for free.
The idiot box AKA TV is terrible. There is nothing on of substance, same lame, recycled shows with the same story lines, etc…. read books, educate the brain. trash the TV. it is for imbeciles, as for those goons who have those expensive TV cable systems, and networks, etc… let them enjoy blowing 50-100/month for the boob tube. you will be far smarter and educated, and at peace (less noise in your life) without the idiot box.
@Jojo99 – Sorry to hear that! Fuck the bastards anyways.
@Sally – Really? Nothing of substance on TV? I can’t say I agree with you. Sure there’s plenty of utter trash on television, but a the same time there are also great channels that have programs where you can learn almost anything. PBS has brilliant programing, as does the History Channel, A & E, Discovery and Travel.
I got $20 off my bill a couple of weeks ago. At the time I thought that I did good but after hearing about your $40 I am having second thoughts.
$40-bucks off – not too shabby! I went the ultimate mile: I completely sacked the fuckers, crawled up on the roof and put up a $50 DTV antenna. Yeee-haw! All-you-can-eat Free TV! Oh sure, I now make good use of the MUTE button whenever annoying commercialism hits the screen, but that’s OK: advertisers are paying the freight, not ME. My advice to all: sack all satellite and cable TV companies and hit Radio Shack for some good ol’ fashioned outdoor TV antenna hardware, buy a case of beer for your buddy’s help putting that sucker up, and gopherit. Bolt it up, aim it properly, wire that sucker, sit back and enjoy the freebies!
I did this with Direct TV. Just ask them to connect you to the cancelation department and they’ll try to keep you by lowering your bill or giving you some free premium channels. The economy is tough on everyone now so companies are trying harder to keep customers since they can’t generate new ones.
i tried a funny thing while back, comcast had hiked my shit up to like 120 a month, and they told me i had to be without or on a different service for 3 months before i could get back on a promotional offer. SO i got them to lower my internet to 1mbps which is pretty bad compared to 12. after about 2 weeks i couldnt stand it and just called up and asked hey can i get on a promotional rate now? and sure enough they took 30+ dollars off my bill with a new promotional rate for 12mbps.
Also if you ever EVER have to get any new installations like outlets or new cable run through your house and they try to charge you service fees for all that, call em up and bitch at them about how the last guy on the phone lied and said it would all be free. Ive gotten 3 new cable runs to different rooms outlets n all for free just by complaining over the phone. if they ever try to charge you for a technician coming out, just bitch til they take the fee off. tell em it was their fault and you shouldnt have to pay squat.
This is also a good one: say they told you all installations would be free because you have the service protection plan of $0.99 month. (this plan actually is some bogus crap that does nothing)
This also works for cell phone companies. Ive been playing Sprint and Tmobile against each other for about three years now
And if you really want to be a dick, go to any chain restaurant and just “mention” that your steak was a little dry. You’ll have a free desert and a $20 gift card before you know it!