Hi I’m Broke-Ass Stuart. I’ve been writing shit to help broke-asses for five years now and in just the past couple years I’ve had two books come out, Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in San Francisco and New York To get a better idea of what I do, check out brokeassstuart.com. But enough about me, let’s get to saving you money. Here we go:
I’ve been flying Virgin America a lot lately. It flies directly to most of the place I have to go (San Diego, LA, NY) and it’s as cheap as any of the other airlines. Seriously, why the fuck would I spend a 5.5 hour trip to NY on a janky-ass airline who hasn’t updated their fleet since the Gulf War (I’m looking at you American, Delta and United), when I could sit in comfortable seats that have an entertainment system in the headrest? Especially when the flight is direct and costs the same as the aforementioned janky-ness. Yadadamean? So yeah, Virgin rocks (Hey Richard Branson, can you please make that check out to Stuart Schuffman?)
Anyway, so when you fly Virgin they sell these cute headphones for $2. When I say “cute” I mean that they don’t have duct tape and visible sweat stains like the pair I had before I stole the Virgin headphones. That’s right, I said it, I stole my pair of $2 headphones.
But this isn’t a tale about morality (or lack thereof) this is my attempt to tell you that, even if I had paid for these headphones, they would totally be worth every cent. Because of the shittiness of my last pair (see: pervious paragraph) I had forgotten what it was like to hear those ambient sounds that musicians and producers purposely put into their songs. Listening to Portishead on my new Virgin headphones reminded me why I used play that shit during coitus in college. That music is sexy especially when you’re able to hear all the intended sounds.
The only drawback I’ve found with these headphones is that if it’s breezy out, and you’re walking into the wind, it creates a little wind tunnel in your ear. It’s not too bad, it’s just annoying because it sounds like a loud, drunk stage whisper.
So what’s the point of all this rambling? I’m glad you asked. The point is: next time you fly Virgin, make sure to grab a pair of the headphones, even if you have to pay for them. It’s totally worth $2 to hear music sound good again.