Broke Ass Stuart: Virgin America’s $2 Headphones. So worth it.
Broke-ass Stuart
Hi I’m Broke-Ass Stuart. I’ve been writing shit to help broke-asses for five years now and in just the past couple years I’ve had two books come out, Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in San Francisco and New York To get a better idea of what I do, check out brokeassstuart.com. But enough about me, let’s get to saving you money. Here we go:
I’ve been flying Virgin America a lot lately. It flies directly to most of the place I have to go (San Diego, LA, NY) and it’s as cheap as any of the other airlines. Seriously, why the fuck would I spend a 5.5 hour trip to NY on a janky-ass airline who hasn’t updated their fleet since the Gulf War (I’m looking at you American, Delta and United), when I could sit in comfortable seats that have an entertainment system in the headrest? Especially when the flight is direct and costs the same as the aforementioned janky-ness. Yadadamean? So yeah, Virgin rocks (Hey Richard Branson, can you please make that check out to Stuart Schuffman?)
Anyway, so when you fly Virgin they sell these cute headphones for $2. When I say “cute” I mean that they don’t have duct tape and visible sweat stains like the pair I had before I stole the Virgin headphones. That’s right, I said it, I stole my pair of $2 headphones.
But this isn’t a tale about morality (or lack thereof) this is my attempt to tell you that, even if I had paid for these headphones, they would totally be worth every cent. Because of the shittiness of my last pair (see: pervious paragraph) I had forgotten what it was like to hear those ambient sounds that musicians and producers purposely put into their songs. Listening to Portishead on my new Virgin headphones reminded me why I used play that shit during coitus in college. That music is sexy especially when you’re able to hear all the intended sounds.
The only drawback I’ve found with these headphones is that if it’s breezy out, and you’re walking into the wind, it creates a little wind tunnel in your ear. It’s not too bad, it’s just annoying because it sounds like a loud, drunk stage whisper.
So what’s the point of all this rambling? I’m glad you asked. The point is: next time you fly Virgin, make sure to grab a pair of the headphones, even if you have to pay for them. It’s totally worth $2 to hear music sound good again.
I was just on a Delta flight I did not buy the $2.00 headphones but the guys sitting on both sides did, they said the $2.00 was not worth it because of the movie they were forced to watch, but they did make a comment about taking them on thier connecting flights hoping for a better movie….
you spend hundreds of dollars for a flight, then steal $2 headphones. lame.
Everytime we fly on a flight other than an american airlines carrier, the flight is efficient, good food, good service, and on time. From the Ecuadorian airlines to Quantas—EXCELLENT service, food, on time etc….
The minute you fly on a usa airlines, no/poor food, terry nickell diming passengers, service poor, flights delayed, part missing etc…. The usa is a sinking ship of poor quality, poor service, win at all costs mentations, bottom line mentality that has royally permanently screwed this country. Hence, why EDD is so incompetent, backlogged, and answers to no one by other do-nothing but hold meetings bureaucrats in glorious state “jobs.”
Either I’m a kleptomaniac like B.-A.S. or I have always assumed that the $2 is not a rental fee, rather their cost for purchase (to do with what you want). MW, in my opinion, I think Broke Ass Stuart is commenting on how GREAT yet inexpensive VA’s headphones are. VA does rock the house when it comes to commuting in the sky, lets just see if their customers satisfaction, loyalty, and therefore continued business will keep them afloat financially. What airline carrier has ever been considered a fiscal success?
You weren’t stealing them. you purchased them for $2, and can use them on a future flight or wherever else. It’s not a rental, it was a sale. I have some myself, and I agree that they are “cute”. I’m a former flight attendant and believe me, even if they were given out for free, nobody really cared if you took them home
for what branson makes per week, take ‘em and enjoy.
Hey, Korean Air Lines gives theirs away…or so it seemed to me?
I’m so sick of people pissing and moaning about how expensive the whole flying experience is and how shitty the food/service is. Let me put some perspective from those of us having to serve you shit heads…first of all, let’s talk about the price of airfair. You want to know why everything is so freaking expensive? One, because of the cost of fuel. Not exactly our fault if the cost of fuel goes up, we no longer make a prophet. So naturally, at some point we have to occasionally raise fares when we are no longer making a prophit for whatever reason. You have to have prophet to pay your employees! Not to mention, people who think they have to pack their entire wardrobe inside 20 huge ass suit cases…you don’t think all that extra weight that is boarded onto the plane causes the plane to be less fuel effecient? Maybe if people didn’t pack so much shit, we wouldn’t be charging baggage fees. Second, you want to complain about the food/service? Imagine trying to cater to the individual tastes of anywhere from 100-400 people. Guess what, not everything we serve will appeal to everybody on the plane! And if you know you are a picky eater, just remember that you can always bring your OWN food and DRINKS on the plane! Don’t like the service from the flight attendants? Try having your pay cut almost in half, get stuck working 12+ hours a day, having to be away from your friends and family on most holidays (yes I’m talking being gone during Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays, Family get-togethers) and dealing with everybody who is pissing and moaning at you over things that are not even remotely in your control. I’m in no way saying that it is an excuse for a flight crew worker to be rude to the passengers. But just think about how many passengers are total pricks to the crew! I love it when a passenger gets on and is completely angry right from the start and starts complaining about some poor service he received from the gate agent and how mad he is at all of us and how he hates this airline and yada yada yada. Yeah, well I could also piss and moan about my previous passenger who raised holy hell and was disruptive and rude but you know what? I’m not going to take that out on the next passenger that comes into the plane. So why would you do that to us? And you really want to complain about having to pay $2 for a set of headphones. Ok seriously, who doesn’t already own a pair of headphones what with all the mp3 and ipods, laptops, and cd players. You are going to tell me that you don’t already have some headphones you could bring with you? Seriously people, everybody is so freaking spoiled and everyone thinks that the world should be handed to them on a silver platter. Just remember that there are people who can’t even afford a plane ticket even if they wanted to so be greatful that you even have the means to get to where you want to go. I’ll tell you one thing, as a flight attendant, I will be courteous to you, I will serve you to the best of my ability, but I will not kiss nor wipe your ass and I will not put up with you pissing and moaning about everything you find wrong with our airline. If you don’t like it, then don’t use it!
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quaint little routine you got here but how the f–k r u flying around at all if u r so broke ass, stuart? is this another cute hipsta expression for “i can’t afford a caramel machiatto so i have to drink the regular dark house shit with splenda again” campagin or what? u r lol funny so can i get a bead on your accuracy rating viz — just how broke ass r u stu?
respectfully,
c. penbroke handy