Diaries of a Temp, Chapter 24: Underemployed Dating for Dummies
2009 June 24
Well, I’m back. And this week I’m armed with a list of underemployed men you shouldavoid this summer. That is, unless you want to add “dating” to your list of regrets this year right in between “getting fired” and “moving in with parents”.
So with that, allow me to introduce some of the recession-influenced men to give your fake number to:
- The Backup Dancer- Have we learned nothing from Britney Spears’ mistakes? Wait, we really haven’t have we.
- The Lawn Mower- Because even my little brother could come up with a better way to earn money this summer
- The Barista- Unless the $8.75/hr he makes will magically buy you a nice dinner. Ever.
- The DJ- Do you really want to say “I’m with the DJ” ? You do don’t you.
- The “Network Marketer” – Prepare to sacrifice the contact information of your closest family and friends for the sake of success, er…i mean, love.
- The Bouncer- Can you say late nights and muscle T’s?
- The Janitor- Exceptions include Matt Damon types who clean up colleges and secretly solve math problems and have dimples and a genius IQ.
- The TA- You really want to compete with college girls? Good luck.
- The Retail Guy- A flair for fashion is dangerously close to just “flair”.
- The John Henion- Cuz he sleeps in Spiderman boxers.
**Note from the author: If you are an underemployed dude reading this and you happen to do any of the above odd jobs, don’t worry. Girls never listen to good advice when it comes to dating. You’re safe.
Out-Dated,
LR
For more of LR’s musings, check out her blog you dummies.
I’ve ditched Real Housewives for illegal immigrant hotties (cheap dates).
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/10/nyregion/10flamingo.html
Most U.S. marriages end in divorce, separation or living hell.
Hey! Who doesn’t love their neighborhood Spiderman…underpants?
You may want to add to the list any guy who compensates for his lack of employment with professional body building aspirations. Here’s why:
Speaking of “getting fired”, FiredNetwork.com lays out options for newly fired people in a very well organized way. For instance, if you are looking to get an interviewing tip or need to improve your resume, this site has a lot to offer. Follow the link http://firednetwork.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=32