Craigslist job of the week: $500 for playing the villain

Nando Calrissian, Director of Career Development (DCD)

The Unemploymentality’s Department of Career Development (DCD) has been working overtime searching the ‘world wide web’ for the best job opportunities for our devoted readers.  And this week we’ve got a real hot lead for any aspiring actors out there. But given the canine nature of this week’s premier job posting it was tough for DCD director, Nando Calrissian, to pass this one along.   But hey, Nando’s a dog.  He ultimately has to do what I tell him.  Otherwise he may end up at the wrong end of a diabolical little scheme like what this Washington D.C. father has cooked up to rid the family of the Cocker Spaniel from Hell. 

 Originally posted in D.C.’s Gigs on Craiglist.

Actor needed for emotional role – One day high pay:

My deceased aunt gave my two kids a Cocker Spaniel a few months back. The dog has been a terror and become overwhelming for me. I am a single father raising two young children. I cannot face telling the kids that the dog must go. I have found a good home for the dog, and just need someone to transport the dog, and play the villain.

Premise: You will be the dog walker hired by daddy (me) to walk Skittles. I will introduce you to the kids, and you will tell them you are going to help Skittles get her exercise when Daddy is too busy to walk her. At that point you will walk Skittles to your car and take her to her new family 20 minutes from my place. Then return holding just a leash. The story will be that Skittles broke free of the leash and took off. At this point prepare for crying, things being thrown at you, and possibly cursing. My kids are young and dramatic, their girls. 

Pay will be $500. The job will take roughly 2 hours at best. 

This job is ideal for an actor looking to diversify their role base, or someone who genuinely likes to make children cry. Acting experience is a plus, but not necessary. Please inform me of any prior experience in this kind of situation.