Broke-Ass Stuart: Looking for a cheap date? Take advantage of museum freebies (maybe)

Hi I’m Broke-Ass Stuart. The fine folks of the Unemploymentality asked me to share some tips every once in awhile to help you enjoy your life without spending all your loot. So that’s what I’m gonna do. Why do I qualify to do this? I’m glad you asked. I’ve been writing shit to help broke-asses for five years now and in just the past couple years I’ve had two books come out, Broke-Ass Stuart’s Guide to Living Cheaply in San Francisco and New York To get a better idea of what I do, check out brokeassstuart.com. But enough about me, let’s get to saving you money. Some of the things that I’ll write about will be really helpful and some won’t. But fuck it, that’s life right? Here we go:

For some reason, being smart and cultured is considered sexy. Whether you actually are these things doesn’t really matter as long as your pretend to be, or at least pretend to want to be.  And that’s where museum free days come in.  Pretty much all of the best museums in the United States have one or more days a month where admission is either free or “pay what you can” (for those of you who aren’t too good with subtly, “pay what you can” means ignoring the disapproving looks the ticket taker gives you when you pay with a $1 bill).   By taking your date to the museum on one of these days, you’re not only saving money, you’re seeming like you know things about stuff.  That being said, spending a quiet day at the museum may not always be the best idea for a first date.

I remember a few years back meeting a girl at a bar and totally hitting it off with her.  A couple days later we made plans to go to the SF MoMA for it’s free day.  Unfortunately for me, in the drunkenness of our first meeting, I didn’t realize how quiet the girl was.  All of this was fine during our time in the museum because your supposed to be quiet there, but once we left the MoMA and went to the park across the street, she still didn’t say much more than a few words at a time.  Being the jabber mouth that I am, I couldn’t handle all the dead air in our conversation, so I found myself talking even more than normal.  I’d start saying shit I didn’t even believe, just to avoid the awkwardness of her not saying anything.  I’d be like, “Wow that Jackson Pollock piece was really quite amazing.  Wasn’t it?” and then think to myself, “Wait, I hated that fucking piece!  What the hell am I talking about?”.

I guess that story really didn’t help illuminate my point about free museum days at all, but I figured that I’d include it anyway just because it happened on one of them.  If nothing else you can at least walk away from this having learned that, while free museum days are a good, cheap date, the quietness of the museum might mask the fact that the person you’re with is either a mute or enjoys watching you squirm with awkwardness  In that case, maybe it was the best date she’d ever been on.  

If you like and and shit, make sure to find out when the free museum days are in your town.  For those of you in Miami, Chicago, New York, LA, Boston or San Francisco you can visit: Museumfreedays.com 

For more from of Broke-ass Stuart’s musings, check out his new and improved website.