Where do you draw the Line?
Aunt Peggy used 'the sixties' to explain away this behavior, you'll be able to use 'the recession.'
One of the best things about these tough times is that you will be forgiven for most of the compromises that you might make due to ‘economic hardship.’ Sort of like how your aunt Peggy would bring to her defense, ‘the sixties’ to explain away those questionable pictures of her in the family photo album – the ones where she’s topless and smoking a joint, freeze-framed in an obvious hippy dance: “Oh honey, it was the sixties. EVERYBODY was doing that, sweetie.” So the same logic will apply for you in fifteen years. Remember this when your first-born child finds your name listed on IMDB as a production assistant for a porno. All you’ll have to say is, “Oh honey, it was the recession. EVERBODY was doing stuff like that, sweetie…times were tough.”
At the same time, it’s safe to say that 95% of the formerly employed, yet currently downtrodden will never resort to certain extreme measures – selling drugs, turning tricks, or worse, telemarketing. In fact I would say that everyone has a hard limit to what they will do, no matter how bad it gets.
The Human Billboard: Smiling on the oustside, crying on the inside.
Personally, I’ve been pretty lucky. As a video producer/shooter/editor I’ve been able to find just enough freelance work to keep me afloat while I look for a permanent job. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about where I will draw the line if need be. For me, I would be wiling to cook, I would clean, I would move people’s furniture or even pick up their dog’s shit. I could and would do these jobs without question and without a sense of ‘dignity lost.’ Why, because all these jobs need to be done. But I draw the line at jobs that can be done by inanimate objects. To be asked to do the work that, say, a post or a stick can do better than I can is an insult to every organic fiber of my body. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; I draw the line at the human billboard.
You know the guy– he’s often shaking a Quizno’s or Little Caesar’s Pizza sign at an intersection during the mid-day heat of summer. Sometimes he’s listening to an ipod or texting on his phone, but he’s always frowning and we know why – because he’s wondering where he went wrong. What led him to the dumbest, most mundane job on the face of the planet.
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not judging the character of the person who performs this job. In fact I think you would be silly to count these guys out. They’ve effectively found the lowest wrung on the ladder. The only place for them to go from this point is up. And I wouldn’t be surprised if after facing this sort of professional humiliation, many of these individuals have the type of existential, out of body experiences that transform them into captain’s of industry. A sort of professional ‘scared straight,’ if you will.
But even if there are invaluable life lessons to be had from the human billboard, I’m still not doing it. Not today, not ever. Sorry, it’s just where I draw the line.
With that said, I’m wondering where the rest of you draw the line. What job will you absolutely not do, no matter how bad it gets? Or even if it never gets THAT bad, what job would you simply not do based on your own principles. We at the Unemploymentality would love to see your answers in the comment section.
Recession, lets hope it ends soon. But yes, free lancer is the best thing.
Human sign holder is probably one of the worst… especially those poor souls not only holding a sign, but also wearing a giant sheep costume. It’s like the world is giving you a collective kick in the balls. I think second to that though would be the greater at Walmart. How in the world am I supposed to fain happiness while watching people head in to ‘bargain shop’? And lets be honest, do those people really increase the shopping experience for ANYONE shopping at Walmart? Like, if I went to Walmart one day and the greater was gone, would I not find something I wanted? Be in a bad mood? I think not.
Make a sign, hang it in the entrance. The end.
I make it a point to always wave vigorously at the billboard people in costume on the street corner. Make me happy to see the ridiculous.
I dread returning to “pink collar” jobs, like receptionist or secretary, and their heavy emotional labor. Maintaining a perky demeanor is definitely one skill I’ve lost.
Let’s see, what wouldn’t I do?
TELEMARKETING – been there, done that.
OUTSIDE SALES – never again. Besides I got sick of people telling me that it wasn’t a “real job.”
RETAIL – hell on earth. I did it for too long to ever go into a store without having flashbacks of rotten customers and Assistant Managers who acted as if they were still in Junior High.
I’m not saying that I absolutely would not, at all costs, ever do it, but cleaning out porta-potties has to be close to the worst job.
‘pink collar’ nice one…never head that one before, great stuff everyone, keep it up.
Hmm,
human sign post is pretty bad (I can do retail, but I hate cold calling/street solicitations).
Aside from that:
-sex work
-telemarketing (I’d rather be a garbage collector)
-certain jobs at waste management
Jobs I’d rather not do:
-dishwasher
-nursing home worker
-home nursing aide (not that I’m qualified anyway)
-paralegal (I’m an attorney, and I did this before law school)
-secretary (I know out of work lawyers who’ve looked into it)
-fast food worker (I’m working as a server right now)
I will watch people’s kids but I will not clean their houses. I can’t even clean my own home. Being a human billboard is definitely out of the question. I’d rather work in food service, for sure.
I thought I would do anything until the local craft store hiring manager called to set up an interview. I panicked and quickly mumbled something into the phone about accepting another offer. I just can’t do it, selling glue guns and glitter 8 hours a day, five days a week…
Funny this past weekend I saw this girl with a sign hanging around her neck providing direction to the model homes for a builder. It was hot and I can tell she was misarable and she kept her head down. I could almost feel her pain! I had to asked myself, what would it take for me to take on such job and I determined I rather do anything else than that! And I also ask “what is the point to having humans holding signs that can do the job standing alone?” Seriously I can’t think how this is good marketing or productive… But hey if they are willing to pay someone to do this job I guess there will always be someone willing to do it, as misarble as it may be…
Great article, John. There’s a lot of jobs that people won’t do, but no matter what, there’s always someone there to still do that job. We just have to look at the bright side of the situation, keep our heads held high, and look forward to better times in the future.
At TheCanned.com, a website to help guide the unemployed, we recently wrote about how best to handle an interview for a job that you absolutely hate. We believe its best to still prepare for your interviews, research the employer, and look forward to where taking a low-level position might get you in the long haul. If you are interested, check out Katie’s blog post on the lighter side of unemployment.
Thinking of the human-sign, I must agree that it would be a hard job to accept (much like those stuck trying to place a leaflet in the hands of people passing by on busy streets). Having spent a large part of my career in a faceless organization that still insisted on telling us that we were in the “best place to work”, I would be happy to never have to work in one of those places where people are promoted for reasons that have nothing to do with successful performance or even knowledge.
Not sure I could do telemarketing or door-to-door sales (are they still done?)
Yeah, dodr-to-door sales are still being done, but it’s more “by appointment” now then simply cold knocking on doors.
There is a job fair happening where I live where it’s mostly commission-sales that are recruiting. Now I know that for some people out there sales is a wonderful gig but there is one gig that I know, as a guy, I would never do…
Selling ionized, bio-degradable, feminine napkins to friends and neighbors.
No, I’m not kidding.
Now it’s bad enough if you’re a woman and have to try to do this, but come on – I’M A GUY!!! Ladies – would you buy an ionized, bio-degradable, feminine napkin from a guy who looks like the guys you refused to even look at in High School? I’m not even going to go into the “Ick factor” on my part so I can imagine how uncomfortable it would be for you!!! It was bad enough having to try to justify a sale of a $2,000.00 cleaning system to someone, imagine my trying to sell feminine hygine products door-to-door!!! Somehow I think that the phrase “not guilty, your honor” might someday have to be uttered from my piehole if I were to try!!!
There’s another job at this fair that I think I would have to draw the line at…
Corrections officer – thanks but noooooo thanks. I have a cousin who is a corrections officer and I’ve heard enough stories about life on the inside. I don’t need my own personal version of “Oz” thank you.
I was an advertising exec. a few months a go and this Friday I’m going to do a jury study focus group at John Jay for $40 cash. FML.
I was a debt collector for 8 days. Christ on a Vespa Scooter, that was a long week and a half.
Well Melanie A, you and the womens movement certainly bring shit to the workplace — such as premeditated and staged demonstrations of loud, unnatural, pretending behaviors to set a male up for whatever the reasons – financial gain, position, or professional advancement on the backs of others. What is difficult about remaining positive on the job? Everyone in a fair society where ones position is based on merit can easily maintain “a perky demeanor.”
That is what gratification through work is about. The welfare mentality your comment reflects reveals that perhaps at the job site you require a sociable atmosphere – or even to be entertained. Pink or whatever color yo wear sister – That is why it is labeled “WORK.”