Swine Flu and the Unemployed
2009 April 28
source: reddit.com
The entire world seems to have gone and got itself into a panic over this new swine flu business. Cant’ say that I blame them. A possible influenza pandemic is not something that should be taken lightly by the general public, but those of the unemployed persuasion should have no fear. Your Unemploymentality will drastically reduce your risk of infection. Here’s why:
- You no longer spend several hours a day on a train or a bus swopping germs with strangers.
- No more meetings or business lunches where you would be required to shake hands or otherwise socially engage with humans at close proximity.
- You rarely, if ever leave the house.
- The closest you’ll get to Mexico is Taco Bell.
- The symptoms you think you have: headache, sore throat, coughing and dizziness, are actually being caused by your diet of ramen noodles, Little Debbie Snack Cakes and cheep beer.
So for the rest of human kind, please do make the changes necessary to prevent infection. But for the unemployed – carry on, business as usual and the meek shall inherit the earth.
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If my mother see this, she’ll get a heart attack.
OMG…that picture is a gem! But I would like to know, if everyone is so afraid of getting this flu, why is it I can’t come across any description of the symptoms?? Apparently it has nothing to do with eating pork, and yet I can’t find any information about it at all. Anyone have anything?
US livestock farmers typically process sick/diseased livestock with the herd.
Remember all the food-borne illnesses RECENTLY?
The govt is more concerned with control than safety. Citizens are a disposable resource.
I will wear my mask when I leave my apt to shop.
John listed the symptoms in his post. They are pretty much the same no matter what kind of flu you have. The concern is that the world doesn’t have natural immunity to this particular strain of the flu virus which contains a Star Trek worthy combination of genetic material from birds, humans, and swine.
The virus is spread through physical contact with somebody who has the flu or with an object recently contaminated with the virus from an infected individual. Flu viruses usually enter the body through the mucus membranes of the mouth, nose, and eyes. It is not a food borne illness. Flu viruses can jump from animal to animal, human to human, animal to human, and human to animal. Another concern is that this bird-human-swine flu virus combo can infect animals causing mayhem in the food industry (savor your Spam while you can).
With that out of the way, love the tongue-in-cheekisms, John!
6. If enough working people die from this flu pandemic, you’ll have a better chance of finding a job.
Str8 up Whitecat…The Black Plague turned Europe into a peasant worker’s market.
However, the current H1N1 seems to have a low mortality rate outside of 3rd world slums.
More likely, temps will be stuck filling in for all the sick workers–clean those phones and keyboards…
Conluviem coenulentae caveatis
Two pigs talking
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Why mom and pop have lost weight recently?
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Farmer is not taking us to spam factory now. People are frightened of catching the flu from us. We have to stay here longer. But it is getting overcrowded and not enough food for our family.
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That is the usual case during overpopulation without biodiversity. And also, during overpopulation we are closer together thus transmitting our internal parasites and virus H1N1 more quickly.
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But parasites make spam more tasty if factory management remembers adding more salt to kill parasites.
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That sounds delicious. Let’s go over and lick the salt block now.
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Careful not to pick up any H1N1, little sibling.
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Where we can find the H1N1?
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It passes from the lungs into the esophagus thence to stomach, through pylorus.
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Pylor us? Both us?
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Just be careful, weirdo. And if you can’t then be good.
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So from jejunum H1N1 continues going on down the line until it reaches the mud within which we now wallow?
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You bet your chopped liver.
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It is so wonderful, the guidance from big brother. I am so happy, like a pig in shibboleth.
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Oink
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Hmmm..so all the people in the office will perish? That’s it! Then I will get a job!!! Thank you, you kind souls.
best of luck to all,
BR