Diaries of a Temp, Chapter 15: Back in the Saddle
2009 April 2
Now that I’m underemployed and juggling multiple jobs (herein referred to as “freelancing”), a whole new set of rules are in play. This week I learned that the interview process for freelancers is not what I’m used to. This is not your grandma’s office interview anymore, kids. For starters, they’re not called interviews, they’re called meetings. Secondly they do not take place in offices, they take place in coffee shops or other neutral zones. And thirdly and my most favorite, you do not have to wear a suit. I had 2 meetings with editors and one with the owner of a dog walking business this week and I would like to share a list of things you need to help your “meetings” go as smoothly as mine did. Enjoy:
A Freelancer’s Interview Needs:
- Clean Underwear. Don’t argue with me on this one, Henion.
- Your Power Color. Whatever color makes you feel like you could rule the world (and complements your skin tone). For me it’s red. And maybe I wore the same red top to all 3 meetings this week. Mind your own business.
- Time Trickery. Tell yourself that your meeting is about 20 minutes before it actually is. I thought I was running late for meeting #2 until I realize I had lied to myself about the time and was actually 10 minutes early. If you’re like me and constantly run late, this will save you.
- Good Luck Charm. Something that you can keep with you in your pocket for a secret dose of good fortune. I had a few baseball cards from “Eastbound and Down” that I had in the back pocket of my jeans for meeting #3. Other acceptable items include: a seashell, a tiny picture of me, a 2 dollar bill, a pog, or a fig newton.
- Empty Bladder. Don’t even think about not using the restroom before your meeting. You will regret it when they ask you to tell them about yourself and all you can think about is how badly you have to pee.
- Blush. Helps you look alive and excited. But don’t overdue it. Also, this tip is exclusive to women. That is unless you want to look like a choir boy or Shakespearean actor.
- Power Ballad. This is most important for amping purposes. Think of the songs that really get you dancing or make you want to crush a can of Mt. Dew on your forehead. I blasted Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire” while I got dressed for interview #1 and it made me want to chest bump somebody (not advised in interview).
Well that about sums it up. Don’t forget that many of the old rules still apply, you still have to look interested, make eye contact and give a firm handshake. High fives are not yet acceptable forms of greeting. I learned that the hard way.
Cut-It-Out,
LR
To see more of Lyndsay’s musings, check out her blog.
2 Responses
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Girls can blush on command?
rush, i don’t have anything smart to say, other than i think you are really, really, really, really hilarious. i laugh out loud every time. and that is all i have to say. oh, and you’re the best forget the rest.