We Can Play The Blame Game, But We’re All Losers Here
This one comes to us, once again, from our friend Natalia Kannas, an unemployed journalist living in London, UK:
It’s not my fault- stop judging me!
I’m getting ready for my first day. Only it isn’t my first day at work; it’s my first day at school – again – and I am not a kid this time but a large adult-child. A stranger is telling me I have to repeat school all over again because I have messed things up so badly. Suddenly I’m awake, sweating, and I realize it was only one of those dreams again, one of many dreams I’ve woken up from since being made redundant. They all have a central theme- failure. Am I the only one who secretly blames myself for my plight, even though I have no control over the fact that our economy has gone into meltdown?
Of course, I know it’s not really my fault. It’s not my fault the company I was working for suddenly needed to cut down its costs drastically. It’s not my fault I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But if I don’t blame myself, who do I blame? And as if it’s not bad enough I have my own doubts to live with, it seems the smug employed are ganging up on me; since being made redundant I have endured countless insensitive comments.
People don’t seem to be ‘getting’ that it’s not okay to tell a victim of redundancy that they were ‘sacked’, ‘fired’, ‘axed’ or any other variation of that word. It’s also not okay to say that redundancies are a good excuse for companies to weed out lazy slackers. I can’t even go to the hairdresser without the hair washer asking me a million questions about what I do, and, when I tell her about my situation, trying to offer advice on how I can find a job. Even my dentist’s assistant thinks she doubles as my career counsellor.
Her: “Have you found a job yet?”
Me: “No, not yet” *(leave me alone!)*
Her: “Can’t you find a temporary job?”
Eureka! Because temp work I had not thought of! I feel like yelling at her ‘do you think I haven’t tried? Do you not think at this stage I would happily take a job hauling dung in a yard just to have something to do other than sit in front of my laptop all day with the sound of Gilmore Girls droning in the background?’ But instead I just smile my sweetest smile and reply ‘yes, maybe, fingers crossed!’
Truth is, the employed are terrified they will be next. They need to reassure themselves that they will not be next. So I’ll just humour them- at least I don’t have that headache to deal with!
Temps are the FIRST ones to lose their jobs.
P.S. it’s not you (Unemployed since Aug 07 – 300 resume’s, 10 interviews)
Everybody always talks about temp work but I have worked with like a handful of temp agencies these past few months and still no temp job? Like what the hell? I go through all the paperwork and there are absolutely NO jobs coming in.
I know what you mean. It’s like being unemployed is the equivalent of the scarlet letter. Every time I see someone I know, the first thing out of their mouths is “So, how’s the job hunt going?”. Like… seriously, if you have to ask.. probably not so hot.
I know this is not something to be excited about, but I was starting to think that I was one of the only ones having this issue. I get the same questions and responses in regards to finding a job…as if it is that easy, but now I have a better view point: it’s not a headache and there is not “the worry” about whether I am next. When the time is right, it will happen for us. Until then I guess it’s all about sitting in front of our computers with our favorite television shows droning in the background. I wish you, along with many others, the best of luck!!
I am sick, sick, sick of the questions about the job hunt. They are usually from people that have never been in this situation and they are CLUELESS! People think that if you don’t land a job in a couple of weeks you are just lazy. And this is why we have an aversion to the employed. I spend countless hours scouring job boards, posting resumes, networking and doing all the right things. The jobs are just not there.
Best of luck to all. It’s rough, but I sure am glad to have this blog!!!
I’ve laid off 4 times in 8 years. But people I talk with seem pretty sensitive. I’m the one that makes the jokes about being unemployed. They honestly want to help in whatever way they can. And you’re right, they’re scared that they might be next. This might be why they’re willing to help. Someday soon, I may have a job and they won’t. Who knows? But in the meantime, I would take any help you can get and try not to get too pissed off about it. People generally mean well.
What I’m struggling with is the sense that my plight is my fault. I was fired for poor performance and received no severance. Eleven days later, the company announced major layoffs _ those people got severance. Now I’m living at home and trying to find a way forward.
It’s true, those of us that are employed are scared shitless that we will be next – there is no such thing as job security these days.
I try to take the advice from my dad in these matters – he always says that if you are made redundant it is not your fault and you can’t look at it that way. You did the best job you could do (well, I can’t always say that is true about me) and the company just had to make changes. Having just gone through some layoffs at the company I work for and to see who they let go, I know this to be true.
But this advice is easier said than done. I think everyone should just stop talking about jobs or finding jobs because believe me, if someone you know finds a job who was made redundant, you will find out about it.
With near on two million unemployed in the UK and dire predictions of worse to come, I think there’s a lot of sympathy for those who have been made redundant, or who have been forced to cut back hours – especially as no job is cast-iron safe. It’s difficult, too, to know what the best course of action will be in the short or the long term. When you get conflicting opinions on how long this recession is going to last (I’ve heard people say it will get better in 2010, and others say the unemployment trough will last three years) it can be hard to make a decision. Should you retrain in a more recession-proof sector like teaching or nursing? Should you hold out for a job in your own career? Or should you just cash in your assets, sell everything you own and go and do VSO for a year? Personally, I think all three options are as valid as each other, but only you can make the right choice. In my opinion, there’s no point in waiting for the government to come up with a solution – they seem to be as surprised as everyone else at the speed and depth of this crisis.
Good luck in whatever you decide!
i have gotten to the point where i say that i have started my own import/export company, which i have but have not made any sales yet. then, i lead into the layoff scenario. it is so surprising how well people get led around…
If I may speak to the writer side of things: as an underemployed writer/editor (six layoffs in 12 years) who started out as a journalist, I’d suggest broadening your writing skills to copywriting. Sad but true–judging from what my European friends tell me, there’s much more better paying work in that field than in journalism. And it’s a bit closer to yr skill set than hauling dung. Not sure what the freelance strictures are in the UK, but I know I’ve been able to pursue journalism while paying the bills with the copywriting gigs, etc. Some consider it a journalist’s sell-out nightmare, but it can help you pay the hairdresser bills.
There is a time to deride unemployed people as being lazy. That time is when unemployment is ridiculously low, the economy is steaming along, companies are hiring left and right and you are not being offered a ridiculously under-employed position (I have no problem with people refusing to go from high paying hard working software developer to stock boy).
However, anyone ridiculing unemployed people in this environment is ignorant and filled with denial. I am as hard working as anyone you will ever meet. In almost fifteen years of working, I have never taken a vacation or a sick day or a holiday. I even can be found logging in (I telecommute) on Christmas and all the other big holidays. I check in every day of the week even when I’m not on duty to see how everything is in the office. I have sacrificed most of my personal life to be successful in my career. I’ve won awards and constantly receive accolades for my work.
Yet, despite all of that, I know that we’re in a tough economy and I work for a poorly managed company that is taking a pounding from wall street. I could very well end up unemployed tomorrow (I literally mean tomorrow – we’re doing more layoffs… again).
Is that my fault? If my company is laying off 25%, is it my fault that they decided they could do without me and hire five indian engineers overseas for my salary? Hardly. Is it my fault that every other company I’d want to work at, have colleagues at, and have received offers from in years past is no longer hiring and are themselves also laying people off en masse? Hardly.
I have no problem blaming people who get themselves into stupid situations. If you have four kids and a house you can’t afford and you’re whining about money – I don’t want to hear it. I didn’t make you squirt out a bunch of mouths to feed. I didn’t make you buy a house. But if you’re working hard and are laid off? I can definitely sympathize. There’s a reason it’s called “laid off” and not “fired”. It isn’t your fault. And when nobody is hiring, you… well… duh.