The prestige of unemployment and the power of “no.”
This story comes from Le Velo Chantant in Menomonee Falls, Wisonsin:
The good thing about being unemployed is that you can finally say “No” to annoying telemarketers asking for your charitable donations and not feel bad about it.
In December, I attended a graduation ceremony at Marquette University, where I received my undergraduate degree. Now, I’m a smart girl, and I have always thought that only the top learners, the highly capable, and only the most articulate would graduate from that school. It made me feel proud to be part of the prestige.
I’m questioning my thoughts on that.
At graduations, it’s typical to have a student speaker give an enthralling and motivating speech, covering all the wonderful and humbling experiences of being a hard-working student at such a highly prestigious university – A speech that covers how all the tough times managing your studies, maintaining church worship with a hangover and volunteering to help the homeless while still “living the student life” suddenly pays off with a shiny new degree. Lots of lessons learned along the way, right?
And then the featured undergraduate speaker started talking.
The speaker, we’ll call her “Britney,” is the kind of girl that makes you feel a sort of shame and embarrassment only felt when you admit to listening to Delilah on the radio with Dr. Phil on the television in the other room. Now combine that feeling with someone slowly running their
fingernails down a chalkboard. I’m not talking about her tale about her run in with a misbehaving underprivileged inner-city child, and the fact that that she solved his behavioral issues while brainstorming over a beer and burger with her frat-boyz. No, I’ll forgive her for that. It’s just that every sentence she spoke was inflected as if it was a question for the entire speech. It’s embarrassing to think that they gave her a degree (just as prestigious as mine). And now she is probably employed by Milwaukee’s school system preparing America’s youth for unemployment.
Anyway, I think Britney may have called me last night looking for money:
Me: “Hello.”
Britney: “Hi? I’m looking for a Miss . . . um, Dooshcler?”
Me: “Yeah, this is her.”
Britney: “Oh hi? My name is Britney? And I’m a student at Marquette University? And unfortunately, our enrollment is being threatened right now? Cuz we have a lot of students who suddenly can’t find the money for school? Cuz of the recession and all? And we were calling all alumni like yourself? And asking for a small donation to help students go to college? Can we count on your donation?”
Me: “I lost my job in November.”
Britney: “Oh. My. Gosh. I am SO SORRY. That. Totally. Sucks . . . Bye???”
Saying “No” was like a new high. And I wasn’t the one apologizing this time. That was the most guilt-free charity donation call I’ve ever received. I think I’m on to something here. It must be the feeling of a new prestige.
The prestige of the Unemployed.
Tell us about your unemploymentality – write it down, snap a picture with your sign and email it to us! It can’t hurt. Besides, what else are you gonna do? You’re unemployed, remember?
Did they ever consider cutting their tuition instead of trying to soak their alumni?
Britney was very poorly trained. Having recently undergone a stint of unemployment and underemployment, I have been trained by at least three national fundraising organizations – not only must we avoid “up tones,” speaking every question as if it were a statement, but always ask for money three times, starting with a specific high number and working your way down. It likely would not have changed the outcome, but Britney will have much more success with the employed if she uses these techniques, or so I was told over and over and over.
Ahhhhh, yea what he said.
Stone, I don’t mean to be rude, but do you have any clue what the story was about?
Little hint, It wasn’t about fund raising protocol.
Gee, Maurice, it is clear to me now that my comment wasn’t nearly as germane as “Ahhhhh, yea what he said.” I had to say no to many charitable organizations while I was unemployed, but it never gratified me. The second thing I did after receiving my first paycheck was to renew my memberships to those organizations I had been forced to leave; the first was to pay off the ol’ credit card debt. If I ever give money to my alma mater it’ll be…I can’t think of anything clever. It will never happen.
Thanks for this! I loved reading it; you are very funny. I’m sorry you had such an annoying experience, but it sounds like you handled it well.
I actually like it when my alma mater calls; I end up chatting with the caller and ask about what’s new on my old campus. I’ve even made Myspace and Facebook friends with them. But I might be an unusual case– I’m what nice people call ebullient (or what-not-so-nice people call annoying).
Geez Le,
You didn’t say,
“I lost my job in November-r-r?”
You B-L-E-E-W-W It!. . . You had your chance and You B-L-E-E-W-W It!
College students are adults. Let them pay their own damn way. I clawed my way into a six figure career with out a college education OR a high school education. In fact, I was raised in a family with four kids and a parent with a minimum wage fast food job. Sorry if I have absolutely no sympathy for a girl trying to raise donations for college tuition for any adults from any background whatsoever.
More on the topic – don’t worry too much about some chick’s degree being just as prestigious as your own. I don’t give any extra weight to anyone for any college degree. In fact, I find self motivated people who shrugged off the overly guided path of college (extended childhood, essentially) and dug their own way into complete success to be far more prestigious and I am in aw of them.