Diaries of a Temp, Chapter 13: REALLY!?!

If you have ever seen SNL’s Weekend Update with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers, you know the segment entitled “REALLY!?!” where they rant about something ridiculous and follow most of their statements by saying “Really?!?”. I had an experience yesterday that really deserves one of these. And so, with a tip of my hat to Amy and Seth, here it goes.

There I was, hopping on the train to spend my lunchbreak from my temp job to go apply for other jobs (duh). It all seemed standard enough: beep transit card, go through turnstyle, tip homeless musician. I couldn’t have told you that in approximately 4 minutes I would be underground, in a stalled train and about to wet my pants. As it turned out, not long after my train had started moving, a man and a woman 3 cars back started violently stabbing another man on the train. All hell broke loose, the emergency break was pulled, and the frightened passengers ran into my train car for safety.

Startled by the flurry of activity, I put David Archuletta on mute (don’t judge me) and turned to listen to the witnesses explain what had happened. I was frightened, of course, but I also felt like I was experiencing one of those rare moments where people in the midst of a tragedy somehow overcome the fear of the moment by bonding together. That was, until one man from my car spoke up and with a heavy, exasperated-yet-disinterested sigh saying,

“They couldn’t have stabbed him an hour earlier or later? They just had to stab him while I’m on the train?”

Really.

And this is where Seth and Amy come in.

OK dude, REALLY?! Someone might be bleeding to death and you’re annoyed because you’re missing an appointment? Really?!?

And really?! You think its the appropriate time to make a joke and look at your watch? When any minute the knife-wielding lunatics could come running into our train?! REALLY?!

And do you really think they can’t hold your table at Chili’s for 15 more minutes? Really?!?!

Oh and are you REALLY wearing pleated chinos? Really?!? You’re in your late 30s and you still let your mom pick out your clothes? REALLY?!?

Ok the last one was kind of a cheap shot but come on, he deserved it, right? At a time when we are supposed to be learning what is truly important in life (because when you’re poor you have more time to think), and discovering the joy in thinking of others before ourselves, this guy showed me that America still has much to learn.

And I think he may have just bought us another 9 months of recession. 

 

Raging Against the Machine,

temp.

 

**The man who was stabbed on the train is currently in critical condition at Northwestern Hospital.

***To see more of Temp’s musings, check out her blog.