The Unemploymentality in Michigan
Dear Unemploymentality,
I am writing to you from Michigan, commonly a land of dubious distinctions (high murder rates, high obesity rates, birthplace and home of Kid Rock), and currently the state with the highest unemployment rate in the nation. I would like to share, or rather foist upon you, this rant about my circumstances and job search.
My spouse and I come from a very blue-collar background and were taught to live within our means. Within the last six months our already modest “means” have decreased by over 40%. I shit you not. Suddenly our means are not enough to live on. My husband took a massive pay cut and my job dried up because the small business I worked for folded.
I went to school for fine arts (you just snorted, I heard it, shut up) and I have a mountain of student loan debt. School was a great experience, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, and if going to college for something I dearly love is irresponsible, fine, I’m irresponsible and now I have to pay for it at a low fixed rate for the next fifteen years and I will gladly do so. About a year ago we bought a house. One mortgage company sent us a letter approving us for a $417,000 loan. We laughed hysterically, put the letter on the fridge, and bought a $70,000 [sarcasm] palace on a 30 year fixed rate mortgage. Little did we know that shortly after we bought a house it would become a liability rather than an investment. Our rust buckets are paid in full, no car loans here. And no credit card debt. We don’t have cable. We don’t go out to eat. Currently our idea of a splurge is a .78 two liter of store brand pop. (Yes, I said “pop,” that’s what we say in Michigan.) Those articles about how to save money that keep showing up everywhere are really pissing me off. Our budget is already lean and mean. We were already brokeasses before a large amount of shit hit a lot of really big fans. I’m not complaining, we were getting along just fine and planned on achieving financial security eventually. We were okay with the likelihood that it wouldn’t happen overnight and were steadily working toward it. Now, through no fault of our own, we’ve taken a great leap in the WRONG direction.
What I need to do to keep us afloat is to find an at least 30 HOUR A WEEK MINIMUM WAGE JOB. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR TWO MONTHS. I have a great work history, open availability, a college degree (don’t snort), no criminal background, and my urine is so clean I should sell it to people that need to pass drug tests. I comb the job postings daily and apply to anything I am remotely qualified for. I’m not picky. I would shovel manure. I have had two interviews for fabulous jobs that I really wanted. Both went extremely well and resulted in me not getting hired due to the fact that I was one of 12,375,981 applicants. Because of a nice fat tax refund, it will be a few months before we have to decide what to default on first, but I fear that day is coming. Could things be worse? Of course. Things could always be worse. That’s why people who say “but it could be worse” are idiots. In all honesty, though, my sympathy is with the people who were worse off than we are before this started, my friends who have little ones to take care of, and those who are simply a bit farther down the path to financial ruin.
I love the mitten, I was born and raised here, and I can’t and won’t leave, so there is nothing to do but find a way to weather this. I don’t know what the answer to this mess is, that is for people who are smarter and better at math than I am to sort out. The looming question in my mind is, what will we have left by the time things turn around? With the big three teetering on the edge, things will undoubtedly get darker before the dawn. I think Michigan might be in the lead car of this rollercoaster from Hell, so we’ll let you know when we get to the bottom.
Tell us about your unemploymentality – write it down, snap a picture with your sign and email it to us! It can’t hurt. Besides, what else are you gonna do? You’re unemployed, remember?
1. move to Ohio for a week; when you’re back home, it’ll feel like heaven.
2. live like a yooper: scavenge roadkill.
3. sell towels to rasheed. http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=rasheed%20towels&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wv#
4. open a bed and breakfast for hosers http://www.cbc.ca/consumer/story/2009/02/26/canada-travel-international.html
Dear Michigan employers,
Why is this guest poster not working for one of you yet??? She’s articulate, educated, disciplined!
@Lisa Powers:
I’m an employer in Detroit (www.DetroitFashionPages.com) and although articulate, educated & disciplined is she a go-getter?? She has a degree in fine arts. Did she apply for the $25,000 Kresge Fellowship for local artists? Instead of hibernating in the crib and drinking pop, GET out and expand your network…
Trust me, I KNOW its not easy but you are not alone. This site provides a perfect example of someone who took lemons and made lemonade.
Thanks, MK! I would even consider #4, because I love Canadians, were it not that my only extra bedroom is full of art supplies that I don’t use…
which brings us to Niki’s question, is she a go getter? The answer is not so much. I didn’t apply for the Kresge fellowship because there are a lot more people out there more worthy of it than I am. Being a socially awkward individual, I rather despise networking, which I realize is not to my advantage. Do I need to be more proactive? Definitely. I am currently attempting to make at least lemon juice if not lemonade.
And thanks, Lisa! In a parallel universe somewhere you are my boss.
Whoops, I meant MW, not MK. Sorry!
Michigan,
Cheer up, if only because there are many of us who are right there with you. It’s a sisterhood of unemployability! I’m in Texas and while my circumstances are different, our current outlook is the same. Like you, I’m college-educated, clean (in every sense of the word), creative, sharp and willing to work. I’ve struggled to find even temporary work. What little there is goes to others who’ve come before me. I find some ways to make do and we too have cut our expenses way down to the bone, but still it is hard.
And then there’s “helpful” advice from Detroit employer ‘Niki,’ who apparently needs some help in the go-getter area herself. One wonders if her employer would be pleased to see that she is spending time perusing blogs instead of producing something. But one digresses.
My favorite recent advice is from someone employed telling the unemployed to use their time to do some good and volunteer. I’m not against volunteering, but unfortunately, while rewarding in the emotional sense and perhaps in the spiritual one…volunteering doesn’t pay the bills.
The good news is that these days, there’s lots of material to sharpen your comedic and satirical skills. Maybe someone will recognize the value in that.
Hang in there and good luck out there!
Thanks, Ales, and good luck to you as well!
Good news on several fronts: I have just achieved gainful employment AND it should be ripe for exercising my comedic and satirical skills! It will be like being back at my first job only I’m old now! Underemployment, here I come!!!!!!!
my husband and i moved from our home state of michigan a year and half ago. his job was about to go under and mine was becoming one of those “you had 2 minutes of overtime last week, don’t let it happen again” scenarios. talking to our friends and family back home, things are rough. my bff & her boyfriend took a 25% paycut each to keep their jobs. my other bff has been unemployed for 7 months since his temp job ended. my sister-in-law took an hour- and pay cut to keep her position–it’s barely enough to pay the childcare she spends so she can go to work! her husband, a union construction worker, is across the state for 3 months at the only job he could find, which means he has to pay for a hotel while he’s working. my mother-in-law took an hour cut and will not get her annual raise this year. my parents’ employer, a small business, laid off everyone BUT them, so they are surviving. will we ever move back to michigan? not likely. but i fear for everyone we left behind. i hope your story has a happy ending…although it may take a while to get there.
In the Hand,
Well, look at you! You got a job. That’s the best news I’ve heard all week. Pay no attention to employed people who kick you while you’re down with “go-getting” advice.
Good luck,
Lisa
P.S. I must unemployed because I’m not a go-getter. And here I thought it was because of the economy. Silly me. I knew there was something I missed in the “How To Get A Job” class!
Take some of the $109,000,000 tax-payer funds for the president’s party (inauguration) and give that money to the unemployed. That would be the change that we can all believe in. Take the 109,000,000 and help rebuilt michigan or are the obamaites yes-canning, and bumper stickers doing any good? Maybe, so far the pres has given billions to dying failing industries, has a spending bill loaded with earmarks etc….we voted for obama–what a disappointment. Unemployment up again, dow jones way down, and maubama states he is optimistic?!?!!? He is a slick lawyer politician from an incredibly corrupt govt. state.—IL. Saying that he has integrity, is the same as being raised in a whore house and claiming one is a virgin. Slick lawyer===fraud.
im still laughing…
Thinking of you IN THE HAND .. while thinking of myself
Either you picked up my old boots from good will or
they made the exact same boots twice ~ Standing in your shoes
But I will say
I can understand your studying arts..
Great sense of humor even in the dark hours
Good luck to you Sister !
a GrandRapids Michigander
(ex-auto worker… go figure) …
Sally, I just can’t let this one lie, you may never be back to this page to read this, but…
What about the amount of money we have spent on a war with false pretenses?
What about the bailouts that happened before our current president took office?
Pointing a furious laser of blame at a guy that inherited a huge mess is really pretty simplistic.
To the unemployed:
Here is the difference between me and you, here is the difference why I am gainfully employed and you fill out worksheets every two weeks to get your check, are you ready for it?
I am willing to crush you to get that job.
-I will slash your tires in the parking lot to delay you an extra five minutes, five minutes that I will use to secure the position you’ve been chasing for weeks on end.
-I will tell security that you look unstable and mumbled something about “bombs” and “pinkslips” in the lobby, if only to thin the herd by one.
-I will cheerfully ask to see the one copy of the resume that you brought with you to the interview, the one you diligently word smithed and agonized about until the wee hours of the morning, then depart to the bathroom with it to wipe my soon to be employed ass with it. No, I will not bring it back either. Yes, I will ignore you when you pester me with hysterical questions about where it went.
-I will tell the interviewer that the person right after me, whom I don’t know from Jack, worked with me at my previous employer and was fired for assaulting their supervisor and the HR director. Or I might say you’re a serial sexual harrassment filer if you’re semi attractive.
-If the prospective employer tells me its down to you and me, I will wheedle your name and resume out of the administrative assistant in exchange for a box of Godiva chocolate and a pint of Ben and Jerrys. I will then call PG&E to cancel your power two days before our interview, so you miss the alarm. I say two days before because PG&E does not come out the same day. I have put some thought into this and yes, it works.
You may say its beneath you, that if you have to act like that you don’t want the job anyway, but you need to raise your voice because I can’t hear you over your grumbling, hungry, stomach. Top Ramen and ketchup packet soup is only so filling.
I am kidding of course, except for the fact that I will actually crush you and climb over your cold body to climb that ladder. To all the unemployed and looking, get some! Hooah.
It’s easy to be funny when you are gainfully employed but being unemployed is not a laughing matter. Just dealing with the Michigan Unemployment Insurance Agency can be very stressful when the idiots there invent ways to delay payment and waste so much time disputing the facts. They are so worried about the brain drain in Michigan and I believe there is evidence to suggest that it may have already happened years ago. How else can they explain why so many incompetent people happen to be working here at the Mi. Unemployment Insurance Agency? I am still trying to collect unemployment funds that were due me several months ago. Three months go by and they finally agree that my claim was correct and that there was not any misrepresentation. They wasted all this time on something that should have been resolved in just a few minutes if they were actually doing their job. This was a simple matter about a claim that I applied for back in May ’09. Now that I have been vindicated, I’m trying to get two weeks of unemployment for July.
I know there are thousands of people that are worse off than me and I know they are being treated the same way by these jackasses. I later retired in August and have moved to Arizona. I will do just fine if I never receive that unemployment pay but there is a right way of doing business. The reason for the denial is supposed to be that they think that I retired in July instead of August. I was laid off in June but my employer paid me vacation time for the first two weeks in July ’09. I had to continue being laid off after that until my employer called me back to work on July 26 ’09. So there was five weeks in July and my employer paid me for the first two and the last one. So now I’m planning to pester them with the facts even though they only know how to decipher forms and aren’t very good at conversation. Hell, they didn’t even send me a form to appeal their decision.
I really believe there is a conspiracy to deny as many claims that they can without bringing unwanted publicity. Michigan is a broken down state brought on by terrible leadership in state government and the companies that are located there. I don’t have any plans to ever return there and warn you all to stay away from this hell hole. They have invented several ways to rip you off if you happen to wander there. Beware!!!!
Sandy Levin, Ways and Means Committee New Chairman
How To Help the Unemployed Now!
Government Stop Taxing Unemployment Benefits!
So does it make any sense in 2010 to keep the tax man’s hammer down on the unemployed? Did the government not give the banks a break who created this economic mess in the first place? Did the government’s bail out money not provide profit, survival and fat bonuses for the Wall Street crews? Does the government not plan tax breaks for small business who reinvest in plant, equipment and rehires? Did the government not give big auto a Cash for Clunkers program to boost sales along with financial restructure for GM? Is there not a 8,000 dollar tax credit for first time home buyers who are fortunate to have jobs? So why is there no mention of 100% tax free unemployment compensation for the down trodden, displace and forgotten, we the unemployed.
Is it because we the unemployed have no voice? At the Unemployment Gone Mad community http://unemployment-gone-mad.com we are seeking to change this injustice with a new tax reform bill and one voice. The bill is called the “Jobless STUB Retro 2009 U/B Tax Free Act”? STUB, is like the paycheck stub we no longer have and stands for STOP TAXING UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS. The new legislative bill needs Sandy Levin, Ways and Means Committee New Chairman to step up and committee members to climb on board. This bill will make all unemployment collected in 2009 totally tax free not just the current law exemption of a ridiculous $2400 (about 6 checks). The Gone Mad opinion is 2009 life lines deserve tax free status during the 2009 new depression blues year. We feel this travesty of paying taxes on unemployment benefits when there are 5.8 million long term unemployed is truly deplorable and an issue worthy of action. Also, remember a record 20 million collected some unemployment in 2009. From Unemployment Gone MAD community