Don’t be ashamed to pimp your pet during the recession.

This week I received a strange call from a friend of mine that is a freelance filmmaker.  Usually when he calls, it’s to rent my camera, hire me as a DP, or whatever.  However, in this economy, these calls have become few and far between.  So when I saw his call come in I thought, ‘Sweet!  Maybe he’s got a little work for me.’  Instead, he was calling because he had a commercial to shoot that required a dog.  He wasn’t calling to offer me work at all. He was calling to offer my dog Nando a job.  Oh the indignity!

Unfortunately, the dog was cut from the script at the last minute, but not before the proposition raised some serious questions for someone with the unemploymentality like myself:  Could I conceivably make ends meet through this recession by whoring my dog out to any kibble or flea & tick removal advertisement on the market?  How sweet would that be!  However, what are the repercussions for my own self-worth if my dog becomes the breadwinner while my role in the family is demoted to ‘Dog Agent and Chauffeur’?  It’s bad enough that Nando already looks at me with indifference as I pick up his poop every morning.  Sometimes he even kicks dirt in my direction as I’m bending over to retrieve his deposit.  It’s as if he’s saying, “You work for me, pal.  Don’t you forget it.”  I can only imagine how big his ego will get if he starts paying my rent as well.

Screw it.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  I’m gonna pimp my pooch and I suggest that you do the same.  So if there are any canine casting agents reading this, here are a few headshots to show you Nando’s range:

 

 

*Nando is also available for birthdays, Bat Mitzvahs and Swinger’s parties.