U.S. Economy got you down? Just be glad you’re not in Zimbabwe

It’s not hard to feel depressed when you think about the recession.  Companies folding and layoffs increasing while the American dollar plummets make it hard to put on that happy face for the holidays.  And didn’t Nostradamus predict that when supermodels and rappers choose Euros over greenbacks that that would signal the end of the world?  If not, he should have. 

But in these trying times, when thinking about America’s new reality becomes too great for my feeble little psyche, I turn my thoughts to Zimbabwe.  Because no matter how bad it may get here in the States, you can count your lucky stars that you’re not stuck in that sinkhole of a country.  Here are some Zimbabwean fun facts that are sure to perk you up:

Sure, the U.S. unemployment rate hitting 6.7% totally sucks, but try living in a country where the unemployment rate has been over 70% for the past five years.  And suddenly your dollar isn’t going as far as it used to, is it?  Maybe a loaf of bread now costs you 50 cents more than it did last year.  Well guess how much a loaf of bread costs in Zimbabwe?  Try 100 billion dollars.  Zimbabweans literally have to walk around with bags of billion dollar bank notes just to buy milk, sugar and eggs. 

Now, many will just chalk this up to the fact that, “it’s Africa,” but back in the eighties, before President Robert Mugabe became a raging lunatic, Zimbabwe had one of the strongest economies on the continent.  And in 1983, the Zimbabwean dollar was equal in value to one U.S. dollar.  As of November this year, the Zim dollar was 13 quadrillion to one U.S. dollar, an inflation rate of 80 sextillion% — the highest inflation rate in the world.

So the next time you read the headlines and start to feel a little depressed, do what I do; eat some cereal, play some online battleship and think about how much better it is here than it is in Zimbabwe.  And if that fails to cheer you up – cash your unemployment check and move to Zimbabwe.  I’m sure you can live like a king.  Who knows?  With that type of money President Mugabe may even give you a special post in his cabinet.