Unemployment Nights: Just because you’re broke doesn’t mean you don’t party
The first thing most people do when they get laid off is go out and drink way too much. I know I sure did. And just because you’re broke, doesn’t mean you cut out all of the appropriate luxuries – like porn and booze. So in this, the first edition of our weekend feature, ‘Unemployment Nights,’ we’ll be showing those of the downtrodden persuasion how to party without dipping into the child support. This weekend, we’re talking wine. Oh, but not just any wine, we’re talking Two Buck Chuck!
For those of our readers in the U.S. and near aTrader Joe’s location, you’re already a believer in the healing powers of theCharles Shaw line of wines. And for those of you in other countries, you’re going to think we’re flat-out crazy for suggesting that you can get a decent bottle of wine for $1.99. But I stand by this advice. It’s not the greatest, but it’s very drinkable and it comes in a bottle – so you don’t have to humiliate yourself by showing up at a house party with a box of pimp juice under your arm.
And if you’re not a sit-at-home-and-drink-cheap-wine-by-yourself while watching reruns of the Fresh Prince of Bell Air kinda guy like me, and you’re more of a dinner party animal, you can try this trick: Use a kettle to steam the label off a bottle of Two Buck Chuck and replace it with a better brand. That way you can hold your head high as you hand off a cheap bottle of wine to your host and have a good laugh afterwards about all the compliments you got for bringing such a tasty bottle of Caymus to the party.
I know what you’re thinking, Europe. You’re still not buying it, and I’m not surprised. Just last week, NPR’s own Terry Gross had some wine experts on her show talking about affordable and tasty wines. My girlfriend and I were shocked to hear Terry say that she didn’t think you could get a good bottle of wine for under $10! Are you kidding me, Terry? Let me get this straight – you work for a non-profit organization that relies on pledge drives for your cash and you’re not familiar with the menagerie of cheap wines available at Trader Joe’s for under $10??? I mean, all the non-profit employees I know wear sweater vests from JC Penney’s, sensible shoes, and know how to eat really well for next to nothing. Alright, that’s it! No more donations to NPR until you all learn to appreciate how to live on the cheap. Just kidding, NPR. You know I love you.
For the rest of the broke and downtrodden out there, here’s my top three good and affordable wines for the recession:
- Charles Shaw (California). I think most people like the Cabernet the best, but they also offer Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Merlot and Valdiguie that are all palatable. Charles Shaw’s recession proof price of $1.99 could keep you blacked out until this economy rights itself.
- Amaicha (Argentina). A great white wine for dinner parties for just $3.99
- Castle Rock (California). This one is for all our Cali peeps. Outside of California, you’re paying over $10 for this very drinkable Pinot, but in California, it’s only about $8. Sorry Detroit, stick to 40’s.
All of these wines can be found at Trader Joe’s in the U.S. Sorry to not have much of a suggestion for those readers in other countries, but that’s your job. Hit us up in the comment section and let us know how you get by on the weekends without blowing your unemployment check at the bar.