Diaries of a Temp, Chapter Two: Twas the Night Before Christmas

On this, the night before Christmas, even my cold Temp heart is warming at the thought of good will toward men, egg nog and money from relatives. Despite the unfriendly weather and even less friendly economy, there is still much to be thankful for this Holiday Season. For instance, I was able to pay rent this month. See? Look how easy it is to find your Christmas cheer.

 

It is in this mood that I re-penned the below classic holiday tale. Don’t judge me or you’ll have to face the Big Guy. And I’m not talking about God. Enjoy! 

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‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the city
The temps had been temping, and it wasn’t pretty
The stocks were a-slumping more day after day,
While the temps were left working for next-to-no pay

The CEO’s nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of budget cuts danced in their heads.
And I, just a temp, getting home safe and dry
Had just settled down to watch Summer Heights High

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I dropped my Doritos to see what was the matter.
I looked out the window but didn’t see much,
Just street lights and busses and homeless and such.

The full moon was casting a pale yellow glow
While the neighbor’s French Bulldog went pee in the snow
But, off in the distance, above “Thai Japan”,
There appeared 8 small reindeer and one fat, fat man.

I blinked once or twice and peeked through the curtain
I thought that I knew but I couldn’t be certain.
“By Golly”, I said, “That’s the real Santa Claus!”,
Didn’t know he’d be huge, but we all have our flaws.

Before I could ponder or stop just to think
The jolliest of men gave me one jolly wink
On Freedom! On Passion! On not feeling stressed!
On Adventure! On Hope! On not getting dressed!

He whispered one thing, as he flew towards the fog,
“Merry Christmas to you, I’ve been reading your blog.”
As the deer flew away with a sleigh on their wings,
I realized he’d given me the bright side of things

So this is the moral we all should remember
Lets look at the upside of things this December
Even though this recession has no end in sight…
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!

Lyndsay Rush is the creator of Chicago’s finest unemployment blog, Bob Loblaw’s Job Blog.